And with that the 2022 season has come to an end
a crime of self-critique & the final monthly musings
It’s getting to that time of the year. The end of December marks another chapter of our life; this time of the year, me and maybe even you, are reflecting on what we’ve accomplished over the past twelve months. Not making me feel any better about myself, my instagram has recently been flooded with gorgeous photos of influencers and their year in summary; photos on photos showing what an incredible year they’ve had; gallery after gallery of their wonderful life in their 2,000 square foot brick apartment with sky-high ceilings and beautiful wooden French doors, or of them frolicking through the blue waters of Majorca, the Caribbean or the Seychelles.
Faced with the onslaught of social media mania, I kept thinking about what I’ve done this year: what I’ve accomplished in comparison to what everybody else is doing, if I’m proud of myself, if 2022 has been a “good year.”
Because that’s how we define it, isn’t it?
All 365 days are narrowed down into just two boxes: good or bad. But what does it even mean to say we’ve had a “good” or “bad” year? How do we set those parameters? And how can a “good or bad” year affect us emotionally?
One of the biggest factors is social media. On average, people spend two and half hours on social media, with it increasing year on year. Everyone knows influencer culture has a big impact on how we live our lives: what we buy, how we shop, and most importantly how we feel about our own lives. Being bombarded with the constant successes of others significantly affects how we set our own targets. Earlier this year I talked about the “If I could” dream and how I’d love to open my open little coffee shop. On social media, I’m blasted with young people, people in their early twenties with their own small businesses, their own clothing line, swimsuit company, their own dream being a reality all from their dorm room or parents garage. Why can’t I do that? I felt like crap. I kept basing my self-worth and expectations on what I could achieve on other people’s digital profiles, which merely became a path to self-destruction.
I suppose it’s natural to want to improve. Ending the year feeling like we’ve achieved our goals gives us that rush of endorphins that makes us feel good about ourselves. A crappy year tells us that we may need to change something about ourselves, that we’ve fallen off the yellow brick road. And critiquing ourselves can often help keep us on track, ensuring we’re pushing ourselves. However, pushing that criticism too far can be harmful. We start to distrust ourselves and our ability to accomplish any goals we set. In other words, we resign ourselves to pessimism.
I’ve since realised that one of my worst crimes is falling into this hole of self-critique. Every year, I focus solely on my worst aspects of the past twelve months, and completely ignore all the great things that have happened.
So I dried my tears, dug myself out of the hole I put myself in and, for once, wrote only a “good” column - listing all the positive things that happened to me.
That brings me to our final monthly musings of 2022 and Year in Review.
December Musings
All Christmas food: mulled wine, mince pies, gingerbread flavoured things, and my dad’s signature roast potatoes (recipe here).
The first snowfall in London
Dancing like mad at friend’s Christmas party
Wrapping gifts for family and friends
Planning a NYE party (a full meal spread and activities are underway)
Receiving one of the best gifts - a Sage espresso coffee maker
Excitingly planning for 2023 goals
Treating myself to a new laptop (goodbye six year old Mac!)
In no particular order, some other things I did this year:
Had my 25th birthday in Rome
Strengthened my relationship, celebrating a year with Bradley
Was promoted at work
Said goodbye to a family dog, and subsequently welcomed a new puppy into the family
Finally ran a 5K under 30 minutes
Tried to pick up punch-needling as a new art hobby, then realised it wasn’t for me
Created this newsletter as a creative writing space
Hit my reading goal for the year - 12 books!
Started reading the Harry Potter series for the first time
Had to be rescued during a paddle-board adventure
There’s more to come in 2023, lots of new goals to achieve, pieces to write, books to read, and people to meet. How ever you’ve found my little space of writing, I hope you continue to join me next year.
Here’s to an exciting 2023!