We’re edging closer, at snail pace no less, to warmer weather. Even if the sun isn’t shining, the humidity and warm rain is sure to remind you that summer is almost here. It’s the one thing I’ve noticed all week.
These days, I wake before my alarm. The cool, blue hour pressing itself up against our blinds. As the sun makes its entrance, spatters of sunlight dapple the apartment buildings opposite ours. I’m awake earlier now — my body clock is attached to the dawn, it’ll shift and rumble as the sun appears. In the summer, I can very easily be awake before the birds begin singing.
As the seasons shift, I’m finding myself seeking sunshine and warmth away from the corners of my desk, away from personal essay writing. Sharing my thoughts on the internet was something I never thought I would do. I’m an introvert with a capital I, so to go from the privacy of the pages of my leather bound notebook to sharing work publicly is strange — even after two years on this platform.
Increasingly, this week in particular, I feel I want to be doing other things besides this newsletter, and I have been idly trying to make peace with that. I like structure and consistency, stumbling out of rhythm doesn’t play nicely with my need to keep things together. I haven’t fallen out of writing, not by a long shot, but this week the words swirl in my mind, unformed and hesitant to settle on the page. When they do, they appear as incomplete thoughts, not yet ready for an audience. In contrast, writing fiction is a delightful escape — I get to control the narrative, the dialogue, and the emotions of the characters. I have a clear vision when I have a scene in my head.
I’ve been flirting with the idea of bringing something new to this space. But I’m not ready to take that leap. Instead, this week was mainly about nourishment: reading, and going back to my old notebook — clearing my thoughts. It felt like a necessary break.
I’m eager for ideas to come back to me, but I suspect it may be a waiting game.
Fiction from you sounds great! I welcome whatever you have in mind.
Would love to hear about your dreams. Dreams and goals that you are striving for. I love reading your posts weekly, talk about you. What's churning in the melting pot. Not an alternate timeline but rather one that you are pursuing. Self actualize, maybe write it down and create a self fulfilling prophecy. It will be an interesting read to see how us readers relate.