When I first launched this substack almost a year ago, I did it very quietly. I almost didn’t mention it anywhere. I posted it mostly on LinkedIn, an Instagram story and one Facebook post. That’s it.
It felt obnoxious to share my work over and over again - like shouting into an empty canyon and hoping that there’s someone who will hear me. I remained in this mental space that if someone was interested in my writing, they would have subscribed the first time. I’ve been circling this topic all week because I can’t get over this discomfort with self-promotion.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing the work that you’re passionate about but, to me, it feels the same as when I receive a compliment from someone - slightly icky, like I’m undeserving of it.
We work so hard to create substance, to share our ideas, our writing, the projects that we’ve toiled away on quietly behind closed doors just so we can offer something new to the world. But it can all be for nothing if we then falter at the finish line.
A lot us prevent ourselves from achieving what we want because of that undeserving feeling. I tend not to self-promote at all. I quietly share stories on Instagram, but if you asked me what I do for fun, I can guarantee that you’ll never hear me promote my own writing.
If you do anything that requires an audience, it is hard to put your work out there. I was listening to a the Genius Brain podcast by David So where he touched on this topic and he describes it at bit like being a sleazy car salesman, which is exactly what I feel like. It’s like I’m out here trying to grab strangers on the street to sell them my work and make me feel accepted. Why does it feel so wrong to talk about the things we’re passionate about?
I think it comes down to these three things:
Self-doubt. I’m constantly yo-yoing back and forth on whether or not anything I write is worth reading. I recognise that there are other writers out there who are better than me; more experienced, and articulated and creative. People who just know how to do everything to a higher degree. So, if those people exist, why bother? I ask myself this question every time I sit down to write.
On the other hand, if you fail and nobody knows, then the feeling of humiliation is reduced. In that case, you are the only person you’ve let down – which is a far easier burden to carry.
Narcissism. Millennials and Gen Z’s are considered to be the most self-absorbed generation by far and receive no shortness of hate and criticism from anybody outside of that generation gap. If you’re looking at the Tik-Tok, influencer crowd with a few thousand followers, I get it, but we’re not all like that and to be branded as narcissistic or self-absorbed or vain makes me want to shrink in on myself. I’ve conditioned myself to think that my little substack, this small online space, is not worth telling people about because I don’t want to be a car salesman with a spinning banner. And I certainly don’t want to be branded as something I’m not. So, how do you promote your work in a society that isn’t in love with the idea of you simply loving your work?
Am I out of touch? Shining the spotlight on how I feel, and what I believe in, feels uncomfortable. When I want to write about something, I wonder if the perspective that I write from is something valuable to readers. I want to write about stuff that matters (and sometimes sprinkle in a bit of humour). I sit with the constant worry that I’m viewed as a typical mid-twenties living-with-my-parents bum who is talking nonsense because, really, who wants to read work from me.
Looking at all the reasons, it’s easy to see that I have difficulties with other people’s perceptions of me. All these external factors have wormed their way into my self-perception, leaving me with the feeling that I’m not deserving of the attention that I receive (not that I’m being flooded with compliments and comments, but still).
It's as if somewhere along the line, I drew a line in the sand and decided that all self-celebration would be thrown into the same pot as boasting, which consequentially has diminished the celebration of my own achievements.
To rectify the problem, I’m taking baby steps. And deep breaths. Lots of them. I remind myself that I’m allowed to be uncomfortable with self-promoting my work, but also that it is a necessary party of the process. How can I expect anybody else to cheer me on, to celebrate my goals with me, if I’m not willing to do it myself? The discomfort of self-promotion doesn’t mean my writing sucks, or that I’m a talentless nonce, which is what I feel like most days, but instead that I value my work enough to care what other people think.
The other side of the leaf is this: There will always be better people, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what you enjoy. You will never feel 100% ready. You do it because you want it, not because you're good at it.
Here’s to me hoping that in a year’s time or five years or ten years when I’ve written a hundred more pieces, when I’ve put in my ten thousand hours, I’ll feel more comfortable promoting and sharing my work. I’ll feel genuine excitement at the work that I produce because it is what I want and because it brings me happiness to do so.
In whatever form of passion, you take it’s important to see it as valuable to yourself, to believe in what you make, and know there are people who genuinely want to see the work you produce. In the words best said by a forgetful blue fish named Dory…
…just keep swimming.
Thank you for this!!! This is such a thoughtful and real analysis that hits the nail on the head for so many people, myself included. When I promote on Instagram stories I literally picture people being like, “this bitch AGAIN?!” when in reality they’re probably scrolling and not even registering what they’re seeing enough to form an opinion.
I hope you continue to share your work with the world!! 🌎 💙
Such a true piece! I dislike self-promotion, as well. I get embarrassed when people pay me compliments or praise what I do. I never know how to respond. I’m unsure how to maintain posture of humility while also doing enough promotion to get eyes on my own Substack. (And I despise social media. I would prefer to never touch it again.)
In reference to feeling like a sleazy car salesman, my friend Rob wrote something that might be helpful: https://ungated.media/article/non-coercive-marketing-primer/