1) You never lose girlhood, it will always be somewhere within you. For example, I feel like I am 17, even though I have snow-white hair.
2) Deep friendships that enrich and inspire you are the best. They are also kinda rare. And they never happen overnight. My husband thinks nothing good happens right away. Not sure I agree. But with friendship, yeah.
3) You being more introverted than extroverted is a plus. I am the opposite, and have often found that I have a hundred acquaintances, but nobody I could call at 3 am. My guess is that you listen more and talk less - a plus.
4) It will happen. I have seen this movie before. It will unfold quietly, and you won't notice it at first, kind of like the signs of spring I see out my window.... peepers (frogs in our pond) first, then red tips on the maples, then geese flying back north, and then, suddenly, one morning: Spring.
It will happen. Keep writing. It will help, and you are a good writer.
This may not be particularly enjoyable to hear coming from someone 8 years further along the road (not that these things are linear, but it would be nice if someone was all "this goes away!" wouldn't it?) - I really relate, and it's not easy.
So well written and articulated. I feel you. I'm 40, yet such thoughts have only been surfacing for me in the last year or so. I "lost" a lot of my long-term friends when I chose to move to Australia in 2009. I've made many wonderful new friendships (and met my now wife in the process) but often I lament not having that core group of friends that have essentially grown up together. I miss that. Uni was formative, in part for nurturing such relationships, and although I know many are simply on pause, as you say, it still elicits some melancholy in me.
But yes, you're oh so young still, and although it's amazing you are aware of this (I wish I had been when I was 26), I don't think you need to worry over it. New and precious friendships can form at any time in life.
"Right now, I can’t imagine anyone really being there. And that solitude can feel really fucking lonely." How I relate to this even though I am surrounded by people.
I can resonate with this writing as I’m in my late 20s as well. I also am an introvert person who has a tough time making friends. But I believe the friendships we have are meant to be and even if some of them ended, it’s for the good ☺️☺️
This is an interesting read. I would consider myself an introvert too and at the age of 38, I seem to have a handful of friends but all from different parts of my life who I see individually a few times a year. I’ve never really had a ‘group’ of friends since leaving university. But, conversely, I spend most of my time with my husband and I think maybe I’ve inadvertently alienated some friends because of this. Finding the right balance of solitude and company (with people other than your partner) is really hard. I’d like to say it gets better/easier, but I’m not certain it does.
You’ve reminded me that it’s important to make the effort and reach out to friends.
Also about to turn 26 this year and feeling verrrrrry salty about it. I feel like any achievement I have from this point forward will be diminished by my age, unless I become like, CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
Thoughts from an old lady of 65:
1) You never lose girlhood, it will always be somewhere within you. For example, I feel like I am 17, even though I have snow-white hair.
2) Deep friendships that enrich and inspire you are the best. They are also kinda rare. And they never happen overnight. My husband thinks nothing good happens right away. Not sure I agree. But with friendship, yeah.
3) You being more introverted than extroverted is a plus. I am the opposite, and have often found that I have a hundred acquaintances, but nobody I could call at 3 am. My guess is that you listen more and talk less - a plus.
4) It will happen. I have seen this movie before. It will unfold quietly, and you won't notice it at first, kind of like the signs of spring I see out my window.... peepers (frogs in our pond) first, then red tips on the maples, then geese flying back north, and then, suddenly, one morning: Spring.
It will happen. Keep writing. It will help, and you are a good writer.
Ohh I loved reading this, thank you <3
This may not be particularly enjoyable to hear coming from someone 8 years further along the road (not that these things are linear, but it would be nice if someone was all "this goes away!" wouldn't it?) - I really relate, and it's not easy.
So well written and articulated. I feel you. I'm 40, yet such thoughts have only been surfacing for me in the last year or so. I "lost" a lot of my long-term friends when I chose to move to Australia in 2009. I've made many wonderful new friendships (and met my now wife in the process) but often I lament not having that core group of friends that have essentially grown up together. I miss that. Uni was formative, in part for nurturing such relationships, and although I know many are simply on pause, as you say, it still elicits some melancholy in me.
But yes, you're oh so young still, and although it's amazing you are aware of this (I wish I had been when I was 26), I don't think you need to worry over it. New and precious friendships can form at any time in life.
And introverted is the best 😊
Take care. Lovely post.
At 48, this really resonated with me. Thank you. I need to reestablish some connections...
"Right now, I can’t imagine anyone really being there. And that solitude can feel really fucking lonely." How I relate to this even though I am surrounded by people.
Thank you for this piece <3
I can resonate with this writing as I’m in my late 20s as well. I also am an introvert person who has a tough time making friends. But I believe the friendships we have are meant to be and even if some of them ended, it’s for the good ☺️☺️
This is an interesting read. I would consider myself an introvert too and at the age of 38, I seem to have a handful of friends but all from different parts of my life who I see individually a few times a year. I’ve never really had a ‘group’ of friends since leaving university. But, conversely, I spend most of my time with my husband and I think maybe I’ve inadvertently alienated some friends because of this. Finding the right balance of solitude and company (with people other than your partner) is really hard. I’d like to say it gets better/easier, but I’m not certain it does.
You’ve reminded me that it’s important to make the effort and reach out to friends.
Also about to turn 26 this year and feeling verrrrrry salty about it. I feel like any achievement I have from this point forward will be diminished by my age, unless I become like, CEO of a Fortune 500 company.